Letting Go Of The Shoulds

A word I keep repeating to myself
You’ve should have
You should
You know you should have….

A word that spells
Perceived failure
Even self-loathing….

Letting go of the shoulds
Is what I choose to do
Letting go of regret
And letting in gratitude
Letting go of blame
And letting in grace.


“Should is a futile word. It’s about what didn’t happen. It belongs in a parallel universe. It belongs in another dimension of space.”
― Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

“Women most often experience shame as a web of layered, conflicting, and competing social-community expectations. The expectations dictate who we should be, what we should be, how we should be.”
― Brené Brown

(This is linked to Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday – the prompt is ‘should’ )

So Much More


Last night we got the tragic news of your passing, dear cousin.
I, who hardly made the effort to keep in touch with you
Continue to see your face, hear  your voice
And imagine your last, painful and very scary moments.
I can’t image how it must be for those closer to you.
You were always kind and generous to me
And I’m grateful to have known you.

You’ve lived a full life
And I hope that all your efforts to bring
Peace, comfort and laughter to others
Brought you some measure of peace and comfort too.
You had your quirks (don’t we all?)
Yet you were so much more than your quirks
You were a caring daughter
A most involved mother
A good doctor
A dedicated employee
An upstanding member of your community
A good and loyal friend
And a loving cousin.
In the ever loving arms of the Father
May you find
Much more comfort
Constant peace
Plenty of laughter and
So much more love
Than you’ve ever experienced.

Rest in peace, dear cousin.

In the words of that beautiful prayer said at funerals:
May the angels lead you to Paradise;
May the martyrs come to welcome you
and lead you to the holy city,
the new and eternal Jerusalem.

(This is written in response to the news of a cousins death and linked to Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday)

Writing 101

Writing every week day for Writing 101 starting sometime next month. Yes, I’m going to follow at my own pace and see how it pans out. Mostly I’m going to be writing in a free write style and completely from the heart.


This is the practice school of writing. Like running, the more you do it, the better you get at it. Some days you don’t want to run and you resist every step of the three miles, but you do it anyway. You practice whether you want to or not. You don’t wait around for inspiration and a deep desire to run. It’ll never happen, especially if you are out of shape and have been avoiding it. But if you run regularly, you train your mind to cut through or ignore your resistance. You just do it. And in the middle of the run, you love it. When you come to the end, you never want to stop. And you stop, hungry for the next time.

That’s how writing is, too. Once you’re deep into it, you wonder what took you so long to finally settle down at the desk. – Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones